i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
