You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
