oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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