I wanna bring you to show and tell
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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