I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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