His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
