Cold hands, warm shart.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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