im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
