we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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