Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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