just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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