Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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