The maid of honor just puked.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
