i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
