the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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