Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
we're so committed to being not committed
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
