I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
