guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
