You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
