There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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