Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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