She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
