I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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