I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Someone signed my nipple.
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