Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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