what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
