lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
farters have to be the big spoon...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
