Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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