I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
