Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
