Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
