I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
