In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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