i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
