its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
