Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
