girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
