I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
