he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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