I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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