haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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