I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
