i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize