you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize