If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
