he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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