He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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