a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
