You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I touched a dick in church today
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
