words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I will pee on everything he values.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
