He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
