What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
