Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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