That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
