um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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