Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
