From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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