my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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