Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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