i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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