it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
