It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
