Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
